It's certainly been a summer of unpredictable weather and perhaps you have had plans cancelled or changed due to sudden stormy conditions?

The marvellous community behind Embracing Age Isle of Wight did not let heavy rain dampen their spirits at their recent Vintage Afternoon Tea Garden Party fundraiser, pushing on to enjoy a wonderful afternoon and raising over £3,000! Incredible! 

The money raised will help bring companionship and joy to more care home residents without family and friends or those that are particularly isolated. ​

One of the guests commented, "What a lovely happy party!" and a volunteer helper said afterwards, "I really enjoyed it, what a wonderful event. I'm usually in the kitchen but I really enjoyed waitressing." ​

It's always risky thanking people by name for fear of accidentally missing anyone! However, here are a few people we would particularly like to mention: 

• Barbara  & Alan for the use of their beautiful garden and all that it entailed to organise the event.
• Ryde Tesco Extra amazingly donated food to cover all the delicious sandwiches, as well as crisps and salad garnish. 
• A number of Island businesses donated to the generous raffle prizes, which we are so very grateful for in this tough economic climate.
• The star auction lot included a two night stay with breakfast at Haven Hall 5 star hotel in Shanklin generously  donated by owners David & Arielle Barratt.
• Maggie Molyneux, one of the volunteers on our fundraising team baked and donated the cakes and scones, which were delicious.
• Kimberley Jennings donated the use of her beautiful china trios, milk jugs and sugar bowls collection, and Claire Leah donated the use of her beautiful tiered cake stands from her business  Claireskitcheniow.co.uk, all of which made the event look gorgeous.
• True Vine Church and Youth For Christ Team and helpers for lending and erecting the marquee which saved the event from being cancelled due to rain.
• Everyone that volunteered both up to the event, during and afterwards - especially our volunteers who gracefully delivered the tiered cake stands in the rain! You are amazing and we could not have pulled off the event without all of you.

This event could not have happened without the generosity of all those that came together to make it a wonderful event with a very generous amount of money raised for island care home residents. Thank you to everyone that contributed through donating time, skills, use of items such as china and the marquee, gifts for prizes, donations and their attendance at the event. This really is Island community life at its best!

You can find out more about Embracing Age Isle of Wight here. We have lots of different ways to get involved as an individual or an organisation and for a range of time and skills, and we would love to welcome you into the team to bring joy and companionship to more isolated care home residents across the island.   ​

By popular demand, we held another summer quiz last week, which dare we say it was even better than last year's! 

Around 84 people joined in and it was lovely to see people who had come on their own being welcomed so warmly into teams. Sean Carey, a writer for The Chase, was again an excellent Quiz Master, setting the balance perfectly between questions that were hard enough to be interesting but not impossible. Huge thanks to Sean for agreeing to come back and deliver such an enjoyable quiz.

We are so grateful to our volunteer fundraiser, Sarah Ricketts, for organising this fundraising social for the second year running and making it a truly fun evening. One guest sent this fantastic feedback: "I just wanted to personally thank you and your colleagues for what was a great Quiz night on Friday. I am a member of a Quiz team and we try to go to all of the local charity Quiz nights. We all said that this was one of the best we have been to."

Special thanks also goes to: 

• everyone who volunteered to help Sarah - from managing the AV equipment, running the bar, front of house and selling raffle tickets, setting up and clearing away, and everything in between. We are so grateful to you all for your time and energy.
• St Stephen's Church, Twickenham for providing their great venue.
• the businesses who so generously donated items and prizes:  Your Bakery, Whitton; Rosie Chai; Frames of Twickenham; Kew Gardens; Squires Garden Centre; Osteria Pulcinella; Blush Beauty; Volta's Spa and Beauty; The Angel and Crown Richmond; St Margaret's Fish Bar; Gail's Twickenham; Saffron Persian Grill; Next; St Margaret's Wines; Oree Richmond; Rose Theatre; Hilton Syon Park; Eel Pie Pub; Portofino Pizzeria, Richmond; Harris and Toole, Twickenham; and Venchi Richmond.

And of course huge thanks to everyone that came along and made it such a fun evening, and supported us so generously! 

​Overall the evening raised a fantastic £1,115 - which will make a huge difference to our projects befriending care home residents and supporting informal carers. 

A huge success, a highly enjoyable evening and one we are keen to repeat! If you'd like to hear about upcoming events, you can sign up for our quarterly newsletter here.

Robert Frost wrote "Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and its thought has found words." 

Many of the informal carers in our Carers Connected group have found reading, or writing their own, poetry is a great way to channel the emotional challenges of caring for a loved one into thoughts and words to express that jumble of feelings. So, to mark National Poetry Day, we are sharing their poems to help other carers find a sense of togetherness and to offer non-carers an insight into their experiences. 

For some carers, poetry may be a way to express gratitude for something positive, perhaps on the power of nature to give some respite, like the poem below shared by Judy. 

For other carers, poetry might be a way to process feelings, recognise their limits and find the strength to ask for help. Holly told us "poetry helped to vent my feelings and frustrations, plus document the act of care-giving, the progress of my Mum's dementia, entity of Covid up to and beyond the death of my Step-Father at home, and 'red light' my own mental crisis - which led to my change of role from Primary Carer (24/7 live-in) to Secondary Carer (supporting my brother, now non-resident Prime Carer, and the family and professional Care Teams)." 

Other carers might find comfort through reading poetry written by others.

Claudia told us, "When my fiancé suffered a catastrophic brain injury back in November 2020 my life as I knew it changed forever, leaving me to make some of the hardest and most brutal decisions on behalf of my partner I would have never envisaged were even conceivable. 

One of the hardest challenges for me being a carer, an advocate and devoted partner was the loneliness and isolation I would suffer. Even though he has professional care from the home he resides in, I believe, we, the loved ones often, can be the only ones able to be the psychological support that is so fundamentally important. So my journey began to find some support, some connection and self-care, this being something so easy to neglect when caring for someone else.

People find this in various ways, it could be friends and family, support groups or therapy, but initially for me, unable to connect or cope with anything from the outside world I found my solace through Poetry.

To quote from a book called “The Poetry Pharmacy – Tried and true prescriptions for the mind a soul” William Sieghart says in his intro: “To find the right poem at the crucial moment. One capable of expressing our situation with considerably more elegance then we can. Ourselves, it is to discover a powerful sense of complexity. And that precious realisation, I'm not the only one that feels like this.”

And how true I found that to be, the words of someone you have never and will never meet can be of so much comfort; comfort that can be impossible from all those that may know you.  

Some days when I am feeling lost, alone and desperate for guidance I reach for my friend ‘poetry’ and open the book at a random page and ask for guidance. A particular book I turn to is called “Along the way” by Nikki Banas and, on a particularly dark and lost day, my book gave me some advice that has given me the strength and faith on the toughest days. It's called “Surrender” and below is an extract."

Huge thanks to Judy, Holly and Claudia for sharing their poems and reflections about poetry with us.

You can find more poems and reflections written by members of our Carers Connected group on our Reflections by Carers page. Do keep an eye out for new reflections posted regularly.  

If you are an informal carer and would like to join our Carers Connected support group, or browse our resources for carers, please visit our For Carers page. 

I heard a lovely song recently on the Radio 4 Daily Service, which contrasted an eagle effortlessly soaring high on thermals, with a sparrow flapping wildly but not getting very high.  What helps you to rise above the storm?  As well as the practical suggestions above, as a Christian I’ve been so grateful to know that there is a loving heavenly Father who cares and, if I let Him, is more than willing to lift me on eagle’s wings. 

I’m no expert, and my experience is limited, but now my caring role is over, and I have time to reflect, what else have I learnt about coping with stress in caring?

• Recognise it’s the illness, not the person, who is behaving in a challenging way.  Perhaps I was fortunate that my husband’s behaviour and verbal ability changed so rapidly and dramatically, that it was very quickly obvious that he was ill and no longer the real man I’d married.  Maybe it’s harder to recognise the role of the illness if the decline is more gradual, with challenging behaviour interspersed with normal behaviour.
• Be gentle on yourself. Caring for a loved one is a new and unknown path that affects everyone, and every relationship, differently.  Yes, there’s some information and advice available, but ultimately you are negotiating a path unique to you both.  So go easy on yourself if you feel you’ve messed up one day.
• Celebrate your achievements. Before you go to sleep, review the day and acknowledge the good things in it.  Feel free to congratulate yourself when you’ve coped with a particularly stressful situation.
• Recognise you're experiencing a form of bereavement. Each decline in your loved one’s condition requires adjustment – a letting go of what has been and a loss of what might have been.  I don’t think I’d realised at the time how mentally and emotionally demanding that can be on the carer.​

As I said, I'm not an expert - I'm just one of many people who has negotiated their own unique path as a carer. But maybe there’ll be something in these ramblings that encourages someone who is currently feeling their way along their own unique path of caring.  God Bless you all.
 
*A comfort box of sensory items is a box of things which evoke positive feelings. For example a favourite photo, a cute drawing by one of your grandchildren, very soft material, a tub of bubbles to blow and watch, hand cream, scented candle, and a piece of bubblewrap, because who doesn’t like popping the bubbles! I kept my box on view, because sometimes, even just remembering its contents, was enough to help me relax a bit.